Blog 11 - Win You Every Day
I think many of the ½ Dozen Powerful Thoughts bloggers have written about the importance of relationships, whether that be a friend, co-worker, or partner. We all know that relationships take investment of time, which requires prioritization. We don’t like to think of maintaining relationships as work. It just sounds, well, awful! But it is work! Maybe not the same kind of work we think about as our career/job, or maintaining the yard, or changing the oil in our car. But a different kind of work, maybe like losing weight, or working out. You know, the type of work that requires you to continually think of it. Maybe a more proper description would be “mindfulness”. To work on any relationship requires us to be mindful of it daily.
Prioritize
So, time is precious and how we spend it (or prioritize) is unfortunately all in our control. It’s our choice. But wait a minute, many hours are spent at work, So by the time I do all that life needs from me I don’t have much time left. So how do I maximize the time I do have to work on the relationships that are important to me. I think key in this decision is to figure out what relationships are most important to you. Is it your children, your partner, your family, your pets, your friends? What or who is first, second, third etc.… This should be a fairly easy exercise as these generally point to our values. In my world, my husband is number two behind my faith. That means that my human focus, or how I spend my time points to him first and then the other relationships according to how they fall in my rankings. It surely doesn’t mean that the other relationships in my life are NOT important. It is really just reality. There are only so many hours in a day and understanding how you will spend your free time allows easy decision making. It’s important to review this list often as life can cause them to shift from time to time. When my children were much younger, and I was a single parent, they were way higher in priority. You get the idea, so doing a periodic review of this list from time to time helps to evaluate how well you are investing in your relationships.
Invest
Once you have that figured out, it’s time to invest in these relationships. What can investing look like to build a stronger relationship? I would like to share a concept that has worked for me, it is the concept of “Win You Every Day.” Just like it sounds, the concept is simple but executing is work or requires mindfulness every day. This is something that my husband and I try to accomplish. We literally try to win each other’s hearts every day. Now I am not going to pretend we are perfect because that is certainly not the case! We may miss days and I am sure we have even missed weeks. When our relationship feels stressed or not as healthy as it should, it is generally because we have not adhered to the Win You Every Day concept. So, we first recognize this and then work on getting it back in “shape”. Sometimes it is a physical gift, sometimes making coffee in the morning, sometimes taking a chore that one doesn’t like to do, actively listening to an important matter of the other person, sometimes it is leaving a love letter, or cooking a meal. I could go on and on as this is a practice we have been working on for over eleven years. I have found that the more mindful I have become of our relationship and what it requires on a daily basis, the easier practicing this on a daily basis becomes.
Serve
Win You Every Day aligns with trying to live with a servant's heart towards the other. It's working to understand the other well enough to serve them daily. Yes Daily! So, is it really that simple? NO! Humans are complex and as I pointed out in paragraph one…. It is not easy, it is work! I am sure though that many of us have heard of the popular cliches. “Hard work pays off”, or “Nothing worth Having comes Easy”. This concept of Win You Every Day as I like to call it, or servant heart, works in all relationships. The more you are mindful of this concept it will spill into your other relationships in life. Bonus!
Summary
So, take a pause and think about this for a minute. Do you try to win the heart of the person that means the most to you? If yes, impressive… I may have wasted your time reading this. Sorry, but please share other ideas of how you accomplish this so others can benefit. If sometimes, awesome! Keep it up. If no, then consider this concept of Win You Every Day. I certainly am not an expert on relationships but trying something like this will not be a waste of time. It will allow you to help prioritize who you spend your free time with, and perhaps draw you closer or a bit stronger in your relationships. ½ Dozen Powerful Thoughts looks forward to your comments, thoughts or other ideas to strengthen relationships. Thanks!